Personal chat thread

Anything that doesn't quite fit in elsewhere...
Vakanai
Posts: 313
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2022 10:23 pm

Re: Personal chat thread

Post by Vakanai »

Literally every single dream I had last night was about either seeking professional help so I could tell someone in real life that I'm trans and going through hell pretending to be a normal "man" or dreaming about literally running away from people so I wouldn't have to tell them. Which is a somewhat disturbing insight into my mental health I feel.
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Time_Traveller
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Joined: Sun May 16, 2021 4:49 pm
Location: Clermont, Indiana, USA, October 7th 2019 B.C.E

Re: Personal chat thread

Post by Time_Traveller »

Well something happened which i didn't expect at all, the administrator/founder of the Dr Who ~ Mad Man in a Box group on Facebook invited me to become the fourth administrator because he and another admin are pleased with my current posts i put on there and i said about when i am usually available and kindly accepted the position. Now to wait. 😁😀
"We all have our time machines, don't we. Those that take us back are memories...And those that carry us forward, are dreams."

-H.G Wells.
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Ozzie guy
Posts: 486
Joined: Sun May 16, 2021 4:40 pm

Re: Personal chat thread

Post by Ozzie guy »

I think I have legitimately been in the bottom 0.1% for mental health for a long time typically when someone sees a psychiatrist they go for like 12 weeks I have seen mine for nearly 5 years. I only recently found out this kind of treatment is rarer and a retiring psychiatrist I saw once or twice acting as triage presumably chose to send me to my current one specifically.

In the last week or two I have had a gigantic change for the better mental health wise. I stopped hiding from the world as much (this started happening in tiny ways like a month ago), mostly dropped the mentality of trying to survive until AGI and have sparks of wanting a much better life. Ironically, I think a lot of this change was brought on because I saw someone from my past slandering me on a website pushing me to process emotions that were preventing me being social to any degree and get back on social media.

Outside of getting on social media and mental woo woo in pragmatic reality nothing has really changed (and why would it in a week or two) I have made some small progress in the last few weeks which I should really reflect on embrace and be happy about but nothing worth updating here over.
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Ken_J
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Joined: Sun May 16, 2021 5:25 pm

Re: Personal chat thread

Post by Ken_J »

I think for most of the last 20 years I've counted myself in the recovered mental health catagory. but In the last couple years I've been abused and neglected to such a degree that it's wrecked my mental health.

I find myself at once desperate for reassurances that I won't continue down a long painful chronic health crisis into poverty and homelessness and death on the street, with no body missing me and no contribution to the world to live past me and to never amounting to anything or warnting being remembered...
And at the same time horrified at the idea that I might very well be lead down a trail of piece by piece dragging out a life of desperation and toil and disability into 100 year, 120, 140. That I'll lose everything and everyone as they fall to things or move up and away from the tide of meaninglessness that I'll be in the depth of. Just a drone, whose own memories of where I started from faded, because they were never worth preserving to my owners. I might live for 2- 6 times what someone like me would have lived in most of human history, but I won't really have a life of any measurable amount.

1-2 hours every few days to count as your own, and even in them there are just a mountain of things you'll never be allowed. You won't be somebody of note, you're greatest achievement in 240 years, will be that in the 10 years of that time you scraped together enough spare hours to be in the top 15 of your favorite game, and you make a good tasting sandwich. You'll never see the pyramids, let alone make anything as noteworthy by future historians.

and it's hard for me to convince myself that I'd want to live that life if that was even plausible to get that as a potential future in the first place.

Like I would love to imagine a future Star Trek civilization, but with medicine advanced to the point where I can have the pinnical of my health and youth back and never experience the ravages of aging. I will be free to travel the solar system and set out between stars in my apartment-ecology ship to explore and meet other people along the way share a century with some and eventually revisit earth in a few 1000 years. pull up emersive vr of places long gone and people gone with them, and have those reconstructions be possibly so accurate that I could question whether we reincarnated their awareness an selves. and I don't know what i'd do until the universe itself seems to be dying, maybe see what what would happen if we aim past the edges of the universe, maybe initiate a new big bang and be there for a beginning of a new eternity, who knows. but I'm not sure it's even remotely possible, and I have to ask myself if there is a sort of unhealthy desperation in the dream, to avoid the fade to nothing that has been the fate of every thing that has ever lived to date, like a Karen wanting to see the manager of life because this can't happen to her, despite it having happened to nearly 100 billion human in all of human history and nobody was ever special enough that they didn't have to fade to nothing.
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lechwall
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Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2023 3:39 pm

Re: Personal chat thread

Post by lechwall »

Ozzie guy wrote: Sun May 07, 2023 3:16 pm I think I have legitimately been in the bottom 0.1% for mental health for a long time typically when someone sees a psychiatrist they go for like 12 weeks I have seen mine for nearly 5 years. I only recently found out this kind of treatment is rarer and a retiring psychiatrist I saw once or twice acting as triage presumably chose to send me to my current one specifically.

In the last week or two I have had a gigantic change for the better mental health wise. I stopped hiding from the world as much (this started happening in tiny ways like a month ago), mostly dropped the mentality of trying to survive until AGI and have sparks of wanting a much better life. Ironically, I think a lot of this change was brought on because I saw someone from my past slandering me on a website pushing me to process emotions that were preventing me being social to any degree and get back on social media.

Outside of getting on social media and mental woo woo in pragmatic reality nothing has really changed (and why would it in a week or two) I have made some small progress in the last few weeks which I should really reflect on embrace and be happy about but nothing worth updating here over.
Glad to hear you're doing better. No one really knows how AGI will turn out so we should make an effort to engage with the outside world before it happens.
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Powers
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Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2023 7:32 pm

Re: Personal chat thread

Post by Powers »

lechwall wrote: Mon May 08, 2023 1:41 pm No one really knows how AGI will turn out...
Or when.
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lechwall
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Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2023 3:39 pm

Re: Personal chat thread

Post by lechwall »

Powers wrote: Mon May 08, 2023 3:25 pm
lechwall wrote: Mon May 08, 2023 1:41 pm No one really knows how AGI will turn out...
Or when.
I think there's a 99.9999999% chance it happens this century barring some cataclysm such as nuclear war it would truly be a shock if it didn't happen by the end of the century we're talking a not dissimilar time frame from Colossus to ChatGPT as we are from today until the end of the century. As to when this century however yes no one really knows so live life to the fullest in case the Yudkowsky's of the world are indeed correct.
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wjfox
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Re: Personal chat thread

Post by wjfox »

I've started to learn SQL, as I think it's a very useful skill to have in today's world. It's clear that I need to work with data, and databases, especially for a new project I'm developing that's going to run alongside Future Timeline.

Right now, I'm just getting through the basics, but I hope to develop an intermediate or higher level knowledge over the next few months.


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Tadasuke
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Location: Europe

Tadasuke's personal views

Post by Tadasuke »

I've become interested in the Future many years ago, because I've considered this Universe a horrible place to live in, so a lot needs to be done in all areas, to make it more livable for us and we could make that progress. What has always struck me, is how little has been achieved since modern humans evolved to their current form. The reason is, that progress is usually exponential.

I do think that we are making progress, but I feel it's a bit slow. Especially after 2010. I feel like what we are getting since 2010 is more of the same, instead of something completely new and exciting. Like, even this website and forum. It was already online in 2010 and since then there hasn't been that much of a change. If you go back to the year 2000, there wasn't even Wikipedia.

Basically all the things that are being bought or used today are very, very similar to what was available in 2010. There is just more of everything. It's more of a quantitative than qualitative progress. 😐

In the 2000s, I hoped for more positive change to happen in the 2010s. In the 2010s, I thought that they are a decade to be waited out, until the 2020s start and we get to the good stuff (rather naïve on my part).

I don't mean, that it's worse now than 10 or 15 years ago, but I don't really feel technological deflation or exponential improvement in many areas. There is just more of the same. More houses, more blocks of flats, more motorways, more airplanes, more yachts, more trains on the 2005-2010 level, more and larger screens, more air conditioners (now with built-in Wi-Fi), more medical equipment that already existed in 2010, etc. Like for example, da Vinci Surgical System is available since the year 2000, but now there are more of them.

I don't feel much AI's positive effect on my daily life. Not yet. Just today, Google Search showed me completely irrelevant results, and Google Maps showed me a wrong way, making me waste time.

I do think that fixing health and longevity for us, humans, is the most pressing issue right now. People won't care much about the environment, when they know, they've got health problems on hand and they will be dead in 30 or 40 years anyway, so why bother. There are exceptions of course, but some people think that way. Most people would care much more, if they knew they are gonna be around for hundreds of years to live on this planet. This pertains to poor and rich people alike.

I am a perfectionist, I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, I am sensitive, irritable and I don't enjoy living much. That's why (positive) change is what I hope for. But I'm not sure about AI evolving so rapidly, that it becomes almost like some kind of a god. This seems too much like some science-fiction, instead of reality.

It would be really great, if everyone could choose their own body (including sex, gender) and also a (virtual) world, where they want to live. Instead of being forced to just accept things for what they are and obediently live until they die. 😕
Global economy doubles in product every 15-20 years. Computer performance at a constant price doubles nowadays every 4 years on average. Livestock-as-food will globally stop being a thing by ~2050 (precision fermentation and more). Human stupidity, pride and depravity are the biggest problems of our world.
Tadasuke
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Location: Europe

Re: Personal chat thread

Post by Tadasuke »

Since being a kid, I've thought that significantly improving humans in all aspects, is by far the greatest priority and of highest importance for us all.

And then we hear all that talk about environment, "eco"-stuff, "organic"-stuff, "GMO-free", climate change (at first it was global cooling), sustainability, overpopulation, etc. and even "degrowth".

And at the same time, I see obesity and overweightness in lots of people (even kids!). It's really a huge problem. From 5 other people that sit with me in a train travelling between cities at the moment, 2 of them are obese and 1 is even eating now.

I personally walk, ride a bicycle and travel by train. I don't have a car. Keeping slim is very important for me. I don't have a huge appetite.

Wasting resources for no good reason is dumb. Playing computer games on a 10-25 watt laptop APU like the eight core (2 tflops iGPU) Ryzen 7 5800U is not very wasteful or damaging/taxing to the environment. I consider it being efficient and smart.

I do see improvements around, but they aren't huge or quickly happening. At least that's my opinion. I'm still optimistic overall. I do think that solutions for our problems will be found, probably during this century. 🙂
Global economy doubles in product every 15-20 years. Computer performance at a constant price doubles nowadays every 4 years on average. Livestock-as-food will globally stop being a thing by ~2050 (precision fermentation and more). Human stupidity, pride and depravity are the biggest problems of our world.
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